It’s corporate..It’s possible

1:30 PM IST, some day.

“Hello! This is Svetlana from ABC accountants. I wanted to tell you about our new investment offers. Do you have some time sir?”

“Thanks for the offer, but I am not interested.”

“No problem sir, but you can at least hear what we have to offer. I won’t take very long.”

“See it would waste your time as well, I said I’m not interested. Not at all.”

“Don’t worry sir, it’s our job.”

20 minutes of Singhalese for a Hindi native, Niraj was exhausted. Hardly matters if it was Niraj, Dheeraj or Prafull.

“Yes sir, so see.” SEE? OVER PHONE? You kidding lady? After this entire tantrum?

“Yeah, I see. But still, I am not interested.”

“What? Sir, you can’t do this. (Really? Why?) You know how discouraging  it is? One feels devastated when you say a simple no after all this toiling effort.”

“Hey! But I told you earlier that it is a waste of time. I can’t take this offer”

“Fine sir! Thanks for giving your time, may be it’s not my day.”

It’s not my day either, lady. Huh.

4:45 PM, IST, same day.......

“Hello Sir! This is Svet….”

Damn! I know you devil of the day. “Yes, please go ahead.”

“We have another offer for you.”

Eeeeeeeeee… I’ll die.

“See Miss, I’ve already said no.”

“No problem sir. Can you just provide some details?”

It was not a question, certainly not.

“Go ahead, ask.” You won’t let me live. I love isolation. Can’t we have no telephones all over again.

“Sir! Your name”

Winston Churchil … huh

“Niraj Awasthi”

“Age?”

Damn! Why is it not offensive to ask a man’s age?

“23… will be turning 24 soon” Do you know cooking pasta? I’m looking for a pasta maker maid. Did you thought wife? Insane girl.

“You are so young sir.” And fool as well.

“Thanks! What else?”

“Do you already have a credit card?”

“Yes I’ve.”

“Which one? What are the facilities you are provided with?”

“It’s a good one, a simple card with cash back offer and decent credit limit.” They say it a platinum card. Platinum, aaraghgh..How I was trapped last time?

“See sir, our policy is not to say bad for others but…. SORRY I CAN NOT TYPE THAT 3 TONNE OF GARBAGE”

“OK, but still I am currently not willing to take that. I’ll contact you very soon if I require any such service.” Cut it off lady, I am done. Why NOKIA batteries last so long? For this?

“No problem sir! Give it a try and if you don’t like you can always go back. It’s easy, simple and cheap.”

Of course it’s not your problem, it’s mine.

“OK, what I shall do?” I give up lady, accept my slavery.

“An identity proof, a photograph and a rent reciept for yourself and your wife.”

“Wife? What?”

“Yes sir! This is a couple’s offer.”

“But I am still single. So, may be I am not suited for this. Thanks for your time. All the best!” Yuhu, I am spared. Go away girl. Get away. I am a proud bachelor.

“No problem sir.” You are yourself a problem.

“Hmm, I understand. Bye.”

“Wait sir! You don’t need to worry. I am writing your wife’s name as Priya or Diya. Please ask someone to verify this when we do a verification call. I’ll take her number from you tomorrow. It is easy.” 

“What? I shall arrange a fake corporate wife?”

“No big deal sir. She has to reply just once.”

“No, I can’t. I do not have a friend who can do this. Sorry, I can not do this.”

“No problem sir. Keep my personal number. It’s……”

“Hey! Why?”

“If someone enquires you, just say your wife’s name is Shweta and give my number. I will say that yes we were married 6 months ago.”

“What?” Corporate wife, heaven, why don’t you fall?

Niraj is yet to recover from coma while Miss. S is planning some corporate kids with Dheeraj.

No offence to her as it’s a part of her neck grueling job.

Anything is possible here. Welcome to corporate.

Courtesy: Mahesh, a dear friend. :)