Osama, Bermuda Triangle, life on Mars…..huh!!!

The US government has spent more dollars finding Osama than I have White blood corpuscles. That is true Di.

Hey! Di is the only doctor I know these days.

Though mighty is a big word and I use this word only for Chandragupta’s empire but yes, USA stands very near to qualify for that adjective. Still, they could not locate the man who provided them a rise in the water table. This isn’t a joke; we can still hear families crying.

Why some wounds can never be healed?

That man stands with almost nothing in that dry dusty land. When I say nothing, its’ not literal, it is relative to what these super powers have.

Relative, hmm , relativity. Thank you! Mr. Einstein. Not only science, you helped me in many ways.

 Laden has 90 thousand wives, he is 6 ft 3 inches tall, his 59^th child has recently married a Russian and he has rajma-rice in lunch. We know everything, yeah everything about him but not his whereabouts. He is still missing, hiding, teleported…. Ehh, whatever.

So, it seems to be impossible task 1 in the offing.

Bermuda, not the island, I am talking of mysterious Bermuda triangle in the great North Atlantic. The black water has a black history which every never been to sea “sea adventure” writer has quoted at least once in his books. Devil’s triangle has suspended all the laws of physics.

Spectaculars have used their imagination to that extent that if you ask them they can lay eggs. Don’t you believe? Read their theory of magnetism and cyclones. Wow! Amazingly amazing….maybe they should write RACEII. They would do good, really good. Twist and turn, you know what I mean?

Those with less brain and more solar cells use calculators to prove that this is a much less accident prone place and “all the characters and plots in this story are fictitious and any relation with living or non-living will be considered mere co-incidence”. See, those who say I do not see movies with concentrations. Who said it once?

But sadly, Bermuda triangle remains far from main land. All curtains are yet to be raised.

Third chapter, indeed a tougher one. Out of this world.  Jadoo, Jacqueline Fernandez, pardon me if I spelt you wrong but may be you guys know it better.

Did Mars ever had water, or even traces of it? Don’t tell me those marks are an excellent design of your floor furnishing. I would not take that crap. Ok Ok. So what if we send pathfinder, so what if we are still studying the pictures and sample. So what if ever Friday we get 3 alien sci-fi and only ½ SRK love story at theatres.

We still don’t have any such evidences. Oh, have we? None, not a single one. Had we succeeded, Mrs. Jolly and Mr. Mallya would have reached there till now. I am not too sure about the Kingfisher calendar 2011. Does Mars have beaches?

Unanswered, is the common thread between all these three. At least till date. Lots of Science, Geography and Politics. Let’s move on to some sports.

Some sports? What sports? If it is India, it’s got to be cricket, ironically or happily, truth is always truth.

Season 2004-05, visiting Sri Lanka crushed and squeezed our bowlers. Huh, they are squeezed more than my mum squeeze’s lemon. 298 was something to achieve in cricket, if not very difficult. But it was not cricket at all. Dravid send in a soccer player look alike baseball player, ehh ugly. And it was just a joke after that. He deposited the white lather in every fort of Jaipur.

Season 2006-07, thanks to our death bowlers and tiger fielders, lesser thanks to a fine century by Shoaib Malik and his partnership with Abdur Razzak Pakistan notched 295. With others incapable and Dravid snailing, Sachin tried to do that again. He has reduced the margin of loss for us innumerable times over 20 years. Hasn’t he? What if we lose matches as soon as he departs leaving half a run to walk through? This time, the asking rate was thunderous 9.5 and that too for 9-10 overs and Sachin departed. It was all but over till his baseball willow walloped. He grinded, he churned, he thumped, he cruised, he hoisted, he butchered, he thwacked and whatever. I turned all the pages of cricketing shots and I could find none there which he played. I could not find them in baseball learner’s guide as well.

Year 2007, Joginder Sharma and S Sreesanth, whom the girls of my colony will not allow to play with them, were in his out of the blues team. Uthappas bowled, Yuvrajs roared and he came back with the trophy for which even Bangladesh was more in contention.

Year 2010, he promised Dalai Lama that he will not be involved in any violent activity but the world saw a massacre at Dharmashala. He sent those grenades over snow peaks and a couple of new glaciers are routing to Indian plain. 45 runs in a span of 14 balls.

Tonight it was again the same old worrier Sachin moving well. But this time he had in opposition the man with a luck line longer than Amazon, made from pure gold. He waited for the pressure to crop and master to depart and then expanded his cob web. Another trophy, huh.

The game has seen many worriers, even legends like Sachin, Dravid and Ponting but at a point they have returned down. But this man, if he has a not out against his name everyone knows the result and there is no exception to this rule.

I wonder if cricket would have been an individual’s game…. Thank god it’s not.

Yes, he is ugly and has yet to go long way. But why am I telling all this?

Rewind………………………………………..back now.

If someone can catch Osama, if someone can find out the mystery of Bermuda and the traces of water over Mars, it is MSD. The one and only Mehendra Singh Dhoni.

Hey people, make him do the matrix stuff before his stars get displaced. Admitting that he is the most ill skilled player I’ve ever seen, he has a bulldozer in his arms and a sand dune inside his mind.

The Napoleon, the captain courageous is back, not to conquer, not to enhance numbers, just to turn tides when every odds are stacked against him.

Nov. 2024, ……. Sirius galaxy.

MSD from milky way has won the war of comets with a whooping strike rate of 170. Notably his army had only 6 rabbits. Believe it or not!